Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Literature / Hobbyist Joseph J ClarkMale/United Kingdom Recent Activity
Deviant for 7 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 83 Deviations 5,056 Comments 20,666 Pageviews
×

Newest Deviations

Sin and Tonic by monstroooo Sin and Tonic :iconmonstroooo:monstroooo 121 25
Literature
Sake Bastard
Haikus come easy
When drinking sweet, sweet sake
All bloody afternoon.
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo 5 3
Literature
The Self-Deluded Poet
I told myself I wouldn't write you a love poem:
That I wouldn't concede to that cliche,
And make a fool of myself
By making ardent promises you didn't want to hear;
That I wouldn't waste my heart
On a dream I didn't even ask for,
Nor build another idol in the sand.
I told myself I would walk away contented:
That you were better off with another;
That I needn't surrender my heart;
Nor spend every minute wondering
What you are doing, who you are with,
Whether you're thinking about me at all,
Whether you have the happiness you deserve.
I told myself that you weren't my heart's desire:
That your smile didn't really shine
As brightly as a full midwinter moon;
That your words weren't gifts,
Each a minor miracle of wit and wonder;
That your life wasn't a precious blessing
And mine wasn't devoid without you.
I told myself that I didn't need you:
That I'd gotten this far without you
And damn it I can go a lot further yet;
That I have friends and art and whiskey
And there isn't a damn other thin
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo 1 2
Literature
Drinking Games
When beer goes down too easy
I find other rituals to amuse me.
I partook of afternoon tea
But that dram of assam was measly,
And I only take my coffee Irishly;
So I instead I settled on the brandy.
I tried to play the twelve bar blues
By putting on my walking shoes.
But the third bar brought bad news
As it was happy hour for booze.
So as evitable inebriation ensues,
I drink with only time to lose.
I joined myself a gambling ring
To try a hand at poker while drinking
But whiskey slows your thinking
And I walked away on a shoe string.
Gin rummy was very disappointing
Without a drop in the offering.
The only game I can really play
Is to drink my every care away:
I can go all night and go all day,
From Sunday through to Saturday.
I don’t care what Dean Martin say:
This is what I call amore.
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo 1 0
Literature
War Stories
The streets are wide with swagger;
Raucous laughter is the fanfare
Of the soldiers of hedonism.
This perfumed infantry patrols the bars,
Watched by bouncers in doorways,
Former servicemen with guarded salutes.
Johnny’s dropping j-bombs;
Richie’s sinking the navy rum;
Stevo isn’t missing a shot.
The boys are out for blood tonight:
But real heroes befriend before fight.
Waging war with their wages,
Counting casualties in empty bottles,
Earning war stories under neon skies.
Blue collars and white collars
But not a dog-tag to be seen
For the bawdy heroes of Friday night.
Bobby ditched his bird at The Tap;
Gav glassed a geezer at the Geese;
Davey used a sink as a dunny.
The lads want trouble and won’t be denied
But real heroes aren’t born of pride.
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo 3 2
Literature
Rocket
These four wall blues
Are suffocating
My Earthly ambitions
And I am trapped
Beneath the weight
Of heavy heart.
I seek escape velocity:
A way out of this
Gravity unwell.
I want to travel
Beyond the mundane
And into the sublime.
I want to dance
Amongst indifferent stars
Carefree and careless.
So I pop another cork
And let this wine
Be my rocket ship.
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo 4 0
Drunk With A Pen: Cover Art by monstroooo Drunk With A Pen: Cover Art :iconmonstroooo:monstroooo 2 2
Literature
Unreliable Poet
I confess I don't remember
    Whether you wore your hair down
    Or tied it back into a sort-of pony tail;
    Whether your dress was red with black spots
    Or black with red spots,
    Or something else entirely.
But I perfectly recall your smile,
    Like Spring’s first sunshine
    Whose warmth lingers even now.
I may have already forgotten,
    The cadence with which you spoke
    Your intonation and inflection;
    The questions you asked me
    And the answers I found
    Down amongst the butterflies.
But I know that your voice
    Was an unchained symphony
    Was angelsong
    A spell of sweet restlessness.
I cannot forget, for I relive
Those precious, timeless moments
Each
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo 120 40
Literature
The Untested Arrogance of Marlon Rando
Today I happened upon another dreamer,
One more misunderstood genius
Who just needs his one chance to make it.
Won't you give him that one chance, sir?
The dreamer promises everything:    
Eponymous beauty from artist with no name;
Manifesto unshackled by establishment;
Shining vision untempered by frame.
The untested arrogance of Marlon Rando
Declares itself in barely-literate prose
Or elaborate, hollow pomposity
And demands the world be still a moment:
And listen,
Just listen,
Please listen,
Please.
Pity the dreamer who is unable to awaken;
The cherub floating upon the wrong cloud:
For sometimes destiny takes a wrong turn,
Sometimes dreams don't come true.
Perhaps I envy the dreamer,
For the road they have yet to walk.
Perhaps I fear the dreamer,
For their road may run further than mine.
Perhaps the dreamer is a mirror:
And I in fact see my younger self
Shouting out into an endless void
Hoping only to be heard beyond the dream.
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo 6 5
Literature
Six
"You look beautiful," he said sadly.
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo 7 3
Literature
The Too Many Device Push Notification Blues
Well this morning I woke up to one hell of a fright
My phone had gone off deep in the night
Green notification light blinking
With dusty eyes I beheld to my surprise
A message come through from my girl
She’s gone and left me alone in this world
(Oh boy)
Well I gathered my junk in a bit of a funk
Pulled it together long enough to get to work
Start up the computer, do the morning rounds
Catch up with the gossip on everyone's cats
When a push notification flashed ‘cross my desktop
And I see my baby's left me all over again
Now I'm a working stiff if you'll catch my drift
And I faced an afternoon of presentations
So I take my laptop to the conference centre
Get all set up and start to feel better
But you guessed it my laptop's got alerts too
There's old mama saying "I don't wanna see you"
Comes the end of the day and all I can say is
My goodness. That was a tough one!
I pop open a beer and pick up my tablet
Give myself a break from the screen
But there's a stack of notification
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo 3 2
Literature
Unspoken Dreams
Make a little space for me
Somewhere in your mind
Shine a little light for me
To in the darkness find
Clear away those others
The clutter of the crowd
Then say a tiny prayer for me
(But don't say it out loud)
Lend to me a secret name
To scribble in your diary
Whisper it alone so you'll always
Know just where to find me
Pin a tiny hope on me
That maybe we can share
A tiny little space together
Where love is always fair
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo 0 0
Literature
Declarations
She wears jeans like a declaration of war.
Her guerilla assault on my affections
A silent song I can no longer ignore.
She laughs like a thund'rous rifle barks:
A sudden, final and fatal affliction,
A sniper's aim to pierce my guarded heart.
She walks away like a bomber jet's payload,
In her wake leaving longing lovers haunted,
Mine just one more life left wayward.
Each day is a storm I can weather no more,
Helpless against her beautiful gauntlet;
For she wears jeans like a declaration of war.
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo 5 9
Literature
Disenfranchised
"Who are all these people? And why are they here?"
"Same reason as us, Jack."
"No way, man. Look at them all. I'll bet most of them haven't even played Space Raiders 2. They're not real fans. They're just... followers."
"Shut up, Jack! Look, there she is!"
Jordan's outstretched finger pointed across the courtyard, beyond the murmuring crowd, to the source of the cheers and whistles. A small group of figures were walking in the sunshine, smiling and waving. Silver passes hung from blue cord around their necks, identifying them as exhibitors at the convention.
"Holy shit!", Jack said, pushing through the crowd. "I'm getting me an autograph!"
"Wait, Jack, we'll never get through-", Roxy protested, but he was almost lost to sight already. Jordan shrugged an eyebrow at Roxy, took her hand, and followed through the crowd as best he could, apologising as he went.
By the time they'd gotten through the crowd, Shelley Parker, Creative Director of D'Awesome Games, had reached the glassy doors of
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo 3 7
Literature
Leaderboards
Xander is better than me at everything. And as I watch my body erupt in a shower of lumpy gore around an exploding rocket, I am never more aware of the fact.
I swear, loudly and angrily, and take a sip of Coke. I hear him laugh from a few seats up: brash, confident, mocking. He knows it, too.
I put the can down and tap impatiently at the mouse, desperately trying to get into battle as quickly as possible. Numbers on-screen tick down in seconds which feel like minutes. I'm losing time and he's getting even further ahead. I click harder, faster, as if to speed up the countdown until my respawn. I swear again, this time I'd-
A whoosh and a zoom and a flood of mind-cleansing adrenaline as my avatar is thrust back into the battle arena. I hit the ground sprinting and gun down Doug before he can claim the Rocket Launcher, grab the weapon for myself, and instantly swerve from side to side to avoid a rush of incoming plasma. I take in the room in less than a heartbeat, skip around the s
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo 9 12
Literature
Streak-Free
"We've failed, Johnson. It's over."
"What is, sir?" Johnson asked, closing the executive office door behind him and adjusting his crisp black suit.
Leroy Bransky, blue shirt rolled up to his elbows and hair uncharacteristically ruffled, clutched a bright purple bottle by its tapered neck.
"Squee-kee Klean have done it! After all these years... We beat them to the Life-long Guarantee Squeegee. We nailed them on our Patented Bird-Stain Removing Solution... but this..."
"Sir," Johnson replied, emotionless behind his black sunglasses. "You're babbling. What's the situation?"
Bransky twisted the purple bottle around, staring at the spray-nozzle like Hamlet and his bleached skull.
"Squee-kee Klean Streak-Free. They've fucking done it, Johnson!"
"Impossible, sir. No-one can guarantee a true streakless fin-"
"NO-ONE?!" Branksy roared, angrily picking up a cloth from the polished-mahogany table, brushing aside a white keyboard, stack of papers and even the Apple Mac Pro in a landslide of statio
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo
:iconmonstroooo:monstroooo 4 24

Groups

:iconallartunited: :iconlive-love-write: :iconsubmitthatart: :iconthewritersden:

deviantID

monstroooo
Joseph J Clark
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United Kingdom
:new: Drunk With A Pen: 13.5 poems about drink and drinking :new:

A printed, illustrated poetry collection, proceeds of which go to charity.

Drunk With A Pen: Cover Art by monstroooo Rocket
These four wall blues
Are suffocating
My Earthly ambitions
And I am trapped
Beneath the weight
Of heavy heart.
I seek escape velocity:
A way out of this
Gravity unwell.
I want to travel
Beyond the mundane
And into the sublime.
I want to dance
Amongst indifferent stars
Carefree and careless.
So I pop another cork
And let this wine
Be my rocket ship.
Drinking Games
When beer goes down too easy
I find other rituals to amuse me.
I partook of afternoon tea
But that dram of assam was measly,
And I only take my coffee Irishly;
So I instead I settled on the brandy.
I tried to play the twelve bar blues
By putting on my walking shoes.
But the third bar brought bad news
As it was happy hour for booze.
So as evitable inebriation ensues,
I drink with only time to lose.
I joined myself a gambling ring
To try a hand at poker while drinking
But whiskey slows your thinking
And I walked away on a shoe string.
Gin rummy was very disappointing
Without a drop in the offering.
The only game I can really play
Is to drink my every care away:
I can go all night and go all day,
From Sunday through to Saturday.
I don’t care what Dean Martin say:
This is what I call amore.
War Stories
The streets are wide with swagger;
Raucous laughter is the fanfare
Of the soldiers of hedonism.
This perfumed infantry patrols the bars,
Watched by bouncers in doorways,
Former servicemen with guarded salutes.
Johnny’s dropping j-bombs;
Richie’s sinking the navy rum;
Stevo isn’t missing a shot.
The boys are out for blood tonight:
But real heroes befriend before fight.
Waging war with their wages,
Counting casualties in empty bottles,
Earning war stories under neon skies.
Blue collars and white collars
But not a dog-tag to be seen
For the bawdy heroes of Friday night.
Bobby ditched his bird at The Tap;
Gav glassed a geezer at the Geese;
Davey used a sink as a dunny.
The lads want trouble and won’t be denied
But real heroes aren’t born of pride.


Selected highlights from the gallery:

.: Gnome Noir :. +DD +DLD
Gniles Brody III, agent of the Royal Gnomic Treasury, gives his personal account of how his perfect crime went horribly wrong.

.: Stationery :.
A short story in four acts, featuring the fetishisation (ish) of stationery and the moral decline of the corporation (to an extent).

.: The Gunslinger :. +DD +DLD
'Some folk, they say he's looking to get revenge on those who did for his lady. Others say he's just out for revenge on those who done him in. Still other folk swear he's an agent of the devil hisself. Step inside, stranger, and I'll tell you all about The Gunslinger.'


Thanks to the following artists for giving permission to use their sketches:

:iconmechanicalgraphite: :iconchildofdune: :iconoffo:

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconrebeckington:
Rebeckington Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2017   General Artist
I told you that Sin & Tonic was good ;) (Wink) Congratulations on the DD yesterday! I am a dummy!  Airborne Ahooooy Matey! Party Boogie! Clap 
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconcerealnovels:
cerealnovels Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2016
Thank you for the fav🌸
Reply
:iconpursuingthecerberus:
PursuingTheCerberus Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2016  Professional Writer
Joe...it has been a long, long time.  Just wanted to see how things were going! Are you on Facebook at all? I want to keep in better touch with some people from this community!
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconangelichope:
angelichope Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2016
Hey, thank you very much for the Llama Badge!!!:hug::D
Reply
:iconautumnicity:
autumnicity Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2016  Student General Artist
Thank you very much for the watch - I really appreciate your support! :heart:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconfaraleigh:
Faraleigh Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2015  Student Writer
Are you still about?
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconsocietaloutcast:
SocietalOutcast Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Hello. :handshake:

I've just discovered your Gnome Noir thanks to the feature at DailyBreadCafe, and I have it high on my reading list. I'll be certain to comment as well.

I hope you are having a wonderful day!

"Trip"
Reply
Add a Comment: