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About Literature / Hobbyist Joseph J ClarkMale/United Kingdom Recent Activity
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Joseph J Clark
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United Kingdom
Here are the works of a man called Monstroooo.

.: Gnome Noir :. +DD +DLD
Gniles Brody III, agent of the Royal Gnomic Treasury, gives his personal account of how his perfect crime went horribly wrong.

.: Stationery :.
A short story in four acts, featuring the fetishisation (ish) of stationery and the moral decline of the corporation (to an extent).

.: Celebrating The Song Collectors :. +DLD
"Doesn't anybody care about truth anymore?
Maybe that's what songs are for."

.: The Necklace :. +DLD
A story about desire

.: The Ballad of Eiy'ra Haiz :. +DD
Part western, part space-opera and part folk tale: a long short-story about survivor's guilt and alienation.

.: The Gunslinger :. +DD +DLD
'Some folk, they say he's looking to get revenge on those who did for his lady. Others say he's just out for revenge on those who done him in. Still other folk swear he's an agent of the devil hisself. Step inside, stranger, and I'll tell you all about The Gunslinger.'

.: Cheese Sandwich :.
Arguably the best 109-word-long story I've ever written.

.: Red Plastic Bag :.
An oddly light-hearted poem about bereavement and closure.

.: Writer's Block :.
A poem about finding inspiration.

.: Drama: on Love, Loss and Getting On With It:.
A short film, set in the Warcraft universe, about love and hats.

(hosted on YouTube)

One day, this is all that will remain of him.

He gives thanks to the following artists for giving permission to use their sketches:

:iconmechanicalgraphite: :iconchildofdune: :iconoffo:

New Old for 2013: witterings on Twitter.
:new: New for 2014: IndieDB profile.


Last night I published my comic adaptation of Streak Free: a silly short story about the competitive, dog-eat-dog world in the executive strata of domestic cleaning products.

The story was created with my interactive fiction engine (dubbed 'Storyteller') which I was working on through last year. Some of you will have seen it. Streak Free was my showcase piece to demonstrate and test the engine, so I commissioned art from the very talented Owlstation to help bring the story to life. And boy, does it!

Sadly, the project's been on a hiatus since testing ended in September (I think) last year. I can't see myself finding the time to return to it this year. I need help, money and at least three days a week to take the project on: despite big ambitions and some desperate planning, I've not found either of those. But I figured that it wouldn't be TOO MUCH effort to export Streak-Free as a stand-alone piece (it took a nine-hour day to do it, in the end). At least I have salvaged a little piece of art which I can share with my friends and peers.

What you see now isn't, by a long way, a finished, polished piece. I mean the art and story are there, but the engine needs a lot of refinement. I've actually only just noticed since uploading that there's a bug in some of the font heights. It's also dreadfully unoptimised. But it works well enough and I don't think the problems detract from the experience.

I've always liked Streak Free. It's silly and subtle, and it all hinges on the idea that when the stakes are high, very small gains from the competition can be absolutely destructive. It's about giving it everything but then giving in when someone else gets over the line before you. It's about being the best or being nothing at all. It's about coming second when only first will do. It's about making something as trivial as window cleaning agents feel important. And I've always enjoyed Johnson's deadpanning.

I hope you enjoy it :) Please feel free to share. I'd quite like this to make a tiny dent on the internet, so I'm pushing it wherever I can.


Got a mobile phone? Like playing games on it? Love picnics but hate ravenous, child-eating bears? Why not check out RememBear: a new mobile game being released on the third of SeptemBear (geddit?) by my mate Michael. I helped a little with design and wordage: he did everything else except the art. Please do have a little look at this lovely, poetical trailer.
Make a little space for me
Somewhere in your mind
Shine a little light for me
To in the darkness find

Clear away those others
The clutter of the crowd
Then say a tiny prayer for me
(But don't say it out loud)

Lend to me a secret name
To scribble in your diary
Whisper it alone so you'll always
Know just where to find me

Pin a tiny hope on me
That maybe we can share
A tiny little space together
Where love is always fair
Unspoken Dreams
This is actually about a year old. I didn't really know then, and I don't really know now.
She wears jeans like a declaration of war.
Her guerilla assault on my affections
A silent song I can no longer ignore.

She laughs like a thund'rous rifle barks:
A sudden, final and fatal affliction,
A sniper's aim to pierce my guarded heart.

She walks away like a bomber jet's payload,
In her wake leaving longing lovers haunted,
Mine just one more life left wayward.

Each day is a storm I can weather no more,
Helpless against her beautiful gauntlet;
For she wears jeans like a declaration of war.
This poem probably isn't about what you're probably thinking its about.
"Who are all these people? And why are they here?"

"Same reason as us, Jack."

"No way, man. Look at them all. I'll bet most of them haven't even played Space Raiders 2. They're not real fans. They're just... followers."

"Shut up, Jack! Look, there she is!"

Jordan's outstretched finger pointed across the courtyard, beyond the murmuring crowd, to the source of the cheers and whistles. A small group of figures were walking in the sunshine, smiling and waving. Silver passes hung from blue cord around their necks, identifying them as exhibitors at the convention.

"Holy shit!", Jack said, pushing through the crowd. "I'm getting me an autograph!"

"Wait, Jack, we'll never get through-", Roxy protested, but he was almost lost to sight already. Jordan shrugged an eyebrow at Roxy, took her hand, and followed through the crowd as best he could, apologising as he went.

By the time they'd gotten through the crowd, Shelley Parker, Creative Director of D'Awesome Games, had reached the glassy doors of the Convention Centre. Standing with her entourage, the famed game developer was signing posters, DVD cases and t-shirts. Jack was there, right at the front of the line, holding out a copy of "Space Raiders 3" and thrusting it forward desperately.

"Look at that - he actually made it!" Roxy said, smiling up at Jordan.

"I've never seen him move so quickly."

"Amazing to see all these people here, just for D'Awesome Games."

Jordan peered above the heads of the crowd.

"Quite a change from the Raiders debut, huh?"

Jack had been forced from the front line, his green checked shirt standing out among the black t-shirts of the throng. As Jordan watched, he elbowed a small blonde boy out of the way and shouted something to the D'Awesome team - just moments before they gave one last wave and headed back inside the Convention Centre.

"Did he get it?" Roxy asked.

"Don't think so," Jordan replied, putting an arm around Roxy. "I hate feeling like a sardine - let's get out of here. Jack'll find us."

"Yeah, well, I wasn't that bothered anyway", Jack said, drawing deeply from a can of Dr Pepper.

"Bullshit, fanboy!" Roxy laughed. "I thought you were going to kill someone to get that sig."

"What do I need her scribble for? I've got all the Collector's Eds, plus a bunch of PM's from her on the forums."

"Such loyalty! What fandom!"

"Yeah, well. I tend to wonder why these days."

Jordan swung his backpack off his shoulder and started rummaging inside.

"Come on guys, the talk starts in forty minutes. Big reveal, you reckon?"

"Raiders 4", Roxy said. "Obs."

"What else could it be?" Jack asked. "It's been two years since the last game. And they wouldn't announce crappy DLC here."

"Could be new IP?"

"Whatever it is: bet you it's a PS4 exclusive", Jordan said. "Like it or not, world's changing, Jack."

"Nah - Parker wouldn't do that. She's a PC gamer herself, you know? She'd be nowhere without us."

Roxy rolled her eyes.

"Without you, you mean? I'm quite happy with my PlayStation and sense of perspective, thanks."

"Yeah, without me. I've been pre-ordering D'Awesome's games on PC since before you were unpacking your Wii, Rox."

"Ooh, you're so hardcore!"

"I've just got standards, man. No way I'm buying a shitty PlayStation just for Raiders 4."

"You know what it'll say on your gravestone, Jack?" Jordan asked.


"'Here lies the death of PC gaming'."

"Then I'll just have to live forever, won't I?"

The lights went out and the room hushed for a moment - the sound of six-hundred conversations ending, of a room full of people fixing their focus on a single stretch of black floor with five unoccupied chairs. Then, at a glimmer of movement from stage-right, cheers, whoops and whistles spread across the crowd.

Jordan turned to look at Roxy, who was grinning and clapping excitedly. Their eyes met for a moment, then their lips, before they both took up the cheers.

The noise reached a climax as Shelley Parker waved to the crowd, blew a little kiss, then took her seat. Shelley was an icon in the industry: outspoken, loyal, and physically striking - purple hair falling sharply down the left side of her face, the right side shaved short. Jack would proudly describe her as "punk as fuck", before waxing lyrical about her high-concept, highly skilled shooting games. They used to be a niche market: but D'Awesome Games's popularity had exploded with the rise of last generation's gaming consoles. Jordan noticed that rather than join the cheering, Jack sat slumped in his chair, fiddling with his 'Droid.

"Thank you, everybody, thank you so much!", Shelley said, raising a red microphone to her black lips. "We're so thrilled you could all come! Look at you all, you're so beautiful!"

The crowd cheered and whistled in response.

"Alright guys", she said as the whistles began to die down "I don't know about you, but I've been waiting for this moment for months. Atari wanted me to start off with some Q&A and to talk about the Raiders 3 DLC. But the hell with that, right? That's not why you're here - and it's not like they can pull me off stage, now."

Shelly shrugged, melodramatically eyeing the wings of the stage. Laughter rose from the crowd.

"So the big news is that we're here today to announce a brand-fucking-new game."

The audience roared its approval. Jack sat up a little in his chair. Roxy squeezed Jordan's hand.

"It's called Space Raiders 4: Rise of the Immortals. And we're really, really thrilled to be able to tell you that we've teamed up with Sony on this one - it's going to be a PlayStation 4 exclusive title, and it's going to be fucking epic!"

The room exploded in an avalanche of sound. Shelley leaned back in her seat, a huge, natural smile spreading across her face, and exchanged a relieved glance with Bill Snider to her left.

"The fuck you idiots clapping that for?" Jack muttered under his breath - just loud enough for Jordan to hear.

"It's a betrayal, is what it is."


"She's pandering to the big stage, the big crowds. But what about us? What about her faithful fans?"

"Maybe", Roxy answered, "If they want to remain faithful fans, they'll have to swallow their pride and buy a console?"

"After all the money I spent just getting here? Fuck that, we deserve better."

"Come on Jack", Jordan cut in. "You're over-reacting."

"What happened to you, man? You shack up with a girl and all of a sudden you're never around, got no time for Raiders, tucked up in bed at 10pm."

"Hey, don't take it out on Jordan."

"Who should I take it out on, Rox?"

"Total strangers on the internet? That normally seems to work for you."

"Whatever. I'm out of here. I'll see you later, or something."

“Hey, Rox" Jordan said, when they'd gotten home a couple of days later. "Look at this. Jack posted it at about 2 am last night."

Roxy peered at the open laptop and read:

"No matter how shitty life gets, Ive always had games. They've been like a best mate. Worlds 2 explore, characters to connect with, systems to rule. And not bragging or anything but tbh ive always been good at them. I learn from them. Im a better person ingame that I could ever be in the real. I mean I can do shit, own shit, top tables. I can WIN, u know?

"Games aint never lied to me, never let me down, never betrayed me. Until now.

"Raiders 4 represents the final nail in the cross or whatever. Industry's changing and pretty much I can deal. The wheel keeps turning and the pc - only place where games belong 2 the COMMUNITY & not the boardroom - will have its time once more. Consoles get bigger and dumber and we get a wave of casual players and noobs coming in from the high street wanting to play My First FPS. But there's money in those noobs and so long as we're still being looked after, I guess its cool.

"But then Parker comes out & says that D'Awesome Games is turning its back on the PC, on it's own history, on the community. Jumping into bed w big business and £££. Well g fucking g. Gamings running out of heroes man. Parker letting us down, snubbing us like this... its a step too far for me. It's one more in a long line of kicks to the shin AND I'VE HAD ENOUGH.

"Dunno what I'll do now. I'll find somewhere else to invest my time, money and soul. Ill learn to love again. But I want D'Awesome Games to know that this time they've left a scar which wont heal and which I won't forget and which I wont forgive.


"Urgh, dude's flipped his lid," Roxy said. "Always knew he was a creep."

Jack peered through the glass, the hammer heavy in his hand. He could just about make out the sleeping figure of Shelley Parker. He reflected for a moment how they were both on the wrong side of glass barriers. Well, Jack couldn't shatter his barrier. But he could make his feelings known, alright. He'd remind the world that he mattered.

Strangely, he didn't feel angry any more. He had been: in the crowd, in the conference, in front of the keyboard, while tracking down Parker's address. He'd been angry at the world for stealing his passion: for loving, or claiming to love, his game even more than he did.

But now he felt calm. The thought of hurting someone made him feel sick to the stomach. It wasn't really Shelley's fault: he knew that. She was just a symptom of a wider sickness.

And yet, here he was: and this was the only way that his voice would be heard. After everything he'd said, done and believed. If he didn't follow through on this, if he didn't make his point, was it all for nothing? Would it put the lie to his whole reality if he backed down and decided that this wasn't the right thing to do? That this wasn't justice?

Jack hefted the hammer again, and pressed a hand to the window pane.
A short story about fandom, obsession and betrayal

There's a couple of swearies in here but nothing, I don't think, that requires a content filter. Please advise if I've misjudged this.

I wrote two short stories a couple of months ago. Both came pretty much out of the blue and took on their own for - very much my preferred mode of writing. Both I intended to submit to a local writing contest.

I decided that the other one was the better. Hopefully I'll be able to share it with you someday. I dithered about what to do with this one and I'm still not sure: but I thought I'd share it here in case anyone is interested. Warts included.

As with most of what I publish, the story doesn't quite go where I wanted, doesn't quite hit the notes I'm looking for. It was written to a 2,000 limit and I never quite decided where to focus it - so it sort of dithers around. I like the idea of doubling the length and developing the characters more clearly, more pointedly.

You are of course welcome to interpret this as you wish, and I won't say too much here. But I would like to say that this isn't about gamer gate (although related themes do creep in). This to is - or is supposed to be - about fandom. It's also an attempt to expose a little bit of gamer culture to readers.
Well this was a very pleasant surprise - and at a good time, too. Huge thanks to Vigilo for writing up this lovely Writer of the Month feature for :iconthewrittenrevolution:

It's a beautiful piece, I'm really thrilled with it. I honestly can't think of a better feature, plaudit or award I've won on deviantART. I mean not only is it a nice gesture and very complimentary, but I actually think it's a good presentation of my work. It reminds me of the kind of thing we used to try and do at WritersInk, way back in the day.

I tend to feel guilty for getting featured these days. I was very active a few years back, but I don't give much time to the community anymore. Or my writing, really. I've had a little trickle of very generous features over the past year and it's hard to feel like I deserve them: there are other people who deserve the limelight I'm currently getting.

But actually, this time around feels a little different. I'm spinning an awful lot of plates at the moment, and this last week I've felt like most of them are destined to tumble to the floor. 2014 - and, to be fair, half of 2013 - has seen a flood of failed, abandoned or just inadequate projects pass over my desk. Some of the things I'm working on are currently showing a lot of promise - but I've definitely experienced a wave of low faith and lower confidence lately. It's all I can do to just keep chipping away, however slow progress can seem. But, as The Mooney Suzuki once wrote: sometimes something comes for nothing.

My feeling blue is one of many reasons why, inspired by a moment of disillusion and possibly madness this weekend, I wrote this small Depression Simulator game in Twine. It's a bit of a joke, really, and yet it's also completely not. I guess it's just a flippant interpretation of what depression feels like. Maybe a more nuanced approach would be more effective - but I wasn't feeling nuanced at the time. I played with Twine quite a bit at the start of the year: this is the first and only story that I've been ready to publish. And it took all of an hour to write. Amazing really what can come out of the blue.

Anyway, yesterday was a good day. Vigilo's feature was a welcome boost (seriously, go read it and give the group and the post a little love - it takes time to put together a quality feature like that), I won some delicious mince pies, and one of my projects took a big (if risky) step forward. I've been writing a little more lately too, feeling the love of words - although they're personal pieces and I'm not sure any will make it online.

As a result, I am currently feeling grateful for the good things in my life - even if sometimes I forget they're there - and deeply appreciative of the deviantART community.

Big love :love:

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SocietalOutcast Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Hello. :handshake:

I've just discovered your Gnome Noir thanks to the feature at DailyBreadCafe, and I have it high on my reading list. I'll be certain to comment as well.

I hope you are having a wonderful day!

Selimeia Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Big thanks for the postcard - I think it's really sweet of you :huggle:
And the mascots are officially amazing.
(1 Reply)
TheMoorMaiden Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the fave!
Scuter Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the favorite.
HugQueen Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2014   Writer
(1 Reply)
erfdog10 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thanks so much for the llama! :)
MethusulaComics Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2014
thanks for the llama :iconbowplz:
MotleyDreams Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Congratulations on your feature as the Daily Lit Deviant! I loved reading your work, I'll definitely have to come back and poke around your gallery when I've got spare time. Cheers! :D
(1 Reply)
DarkAcey Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much for adding me to your watch. I'm curious, though. Why?

Also, I plan to read more of your work when I have time. It seems quite thought-provoking. 
(1 Reply)
sanaa-h Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thanks for the llama, kind sir :bow:
(1 Reply)
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